lately

Yeah, I haven't blogged in a while. Its been a hard past couple weeks. God has drawn me closer to him, yet I have had to face some hard challenges. Its been hard and very painful yet I am still learning important lessons, and painful things many time teach important lessons. I strive for his glory, and I yern for his wisdom, although latey things look depressing in my earthly life. Self control, self discipline, and faithfulness to God. These are the things I am working on. Challenging myself to grow in him. It is true that my heart is given to a girl; I care a great deal about her. More then I have ever felt in my short life.

:)

cheeeseeee :)

:)

Well, today I woke up with a REALLY bad start because my brother kept waking me up all night and morning. I got up and started on my quarterly test and I think I got a B on it. I then went to church where I saw my two BESTEST friends in the WORLD :) one closer then the other :) the closer having longer browner hair and pretty brown eyes. I then went to a mexican restraunt were we got free food for no reason. After these, I went to the movies with Bria, Mirel, Krissy, and me. I came down with a nasty headachem, and it seemed so painfully long. Bria, being how amazing she is, cheered me straight up and had me smiling almost the whole night. If I wasn't showing it on my face; I was smiling on the inside. Bria, Bria.....I have never met a girl like her. She is so wonderful in so many ways...Her style is so cute. She knows just what to say and do to make things comfortabl and fun. She cares so much about her friends and family. We are just friends right now, but sometimes its very hard to be just her friend. *sigh* Life can be so dim sometimes without what you want or need, but God lights it up and will always pull me through. Today I felt so ugly...To me all that Bria is to me; it isn't her body or her looks that attract me, even though she is simply beautiful, it is her heart. Her... her thoughts, jokes, cares, and compassion. She has something about her that is hugely above any girl. Sheesh......I wish I never had to take any chances of losing her to some guy. My care for her is above anything but Christ. I hate the thought of her being with anyone other then me, but I , for her sake, would rather go through a life of pain and loneliness, and see her the happiest girl with some other guy then not being te happiest girl. I hope, pray, and wish so badly that she'll be mine someday without her giving her heart to anyone other then me. God will have his way no matter what and I am happy with that. She is the most wonderfulest girl I've met ever in my life, and I will never give up hoping for her. She excuse my boldness but is in effect the girl of my dreams :) :) :) :) I love every second with her!!! :):)

hehehehe :)

Ittttsssss a LOVELY daaaaay :)!!! I got math done this morning! and government! I did really well in both!! :) My sister's state champoinship game is today!!! My BESTEST friend made me bread yesterday morning!!! and came and visited me at school!!!! SPECIALEST THING EVER!!! she crept up on me and I saw her hehehe then she fluffed my hanky I had tied around my neck and told me I looked like a cowboy hehehehe *blush*... :) then I GAVe HER A HUGE hug :) and she rubbed my back gently :) and it was just VERY dreamy :) she is amazing!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehe :) anywho I'll be blogging most likely later tonight but I wanted to give a quicky update!!! :) Btw DAIRY QUEEN ROCKS!!!!!! :)

mmmm :\

My heart is rather missing someone very badly right now. It seems as if a life time has gone by without me seeing her bright and cheerful eyes. I miss her, very dearly miss her. Today I have four weeks of physics to catch up on which I have about completed 1 1/2 weeks...Its going to be a long rest of the day.I feel lonely. Very lonely. Today for the first time; I realized I am weird. I don't know what people think of me. All I know is I am different then everyone else. It scares me to know this, but I am a freak. I have said this before without believing it, yet now I do believe it because I see examples of it in my life. My heart aches to say things to this girl I talked about, but I can't say them. Sometimes I wonder what she thinks of me. I am so different then any other person. Does she find this attractive? Annoying? Obnoxious? Cute? I hope the latter. Its me. Its how God has put me together and twined me up in my mother's womb...I feel very scared of how people will judge me by myself. I Love you Jesus! My pictures will come soon.... I have three words for you, waffle, box, tree.

:)

I am doing pretty good! I played drums and broke another stick... :( I will be having new photos up soon :)

This morning

Well, what can I say...battle ship sunk? game over? Game over.....Thats what my heart keeps screaming out. Its over Steven! Its over!!! She's stolen me! This is what my heart says while my stomach is over run by butterflies when she looks at me. What do I do? What do I say? How do I act? My emotions flutter and my mind races at 200 miles a hour. What makes me feel this way? Is it her eyes? Is it her voice? Nay, its neither its her heart. When I am near her heart I feel warmth and comfort. Sometimes I must admit I have fantasies of grabing her hand and not letting go. I know its silly to come from me, a guy, but I do believe she knows how to play my heart strings. There is something about me, a peice of me, that just yurns to hold her. What shall I do if she winks at me!? How could I possibly react different then faint? Her in my life is like a candle in a dark place. She makes me laugh. She makes me feel alive. How, how does she accomplish so much by doing so little? Although she is such an angel; I find more and more as I get to know her better she has a devil inside of her. Not in a bad way, but the way that makes her enjoy mischevious actions. I find this....totally and purely, darling and adorable. When shall I see her next? I am counting the hours. Nay, the seconds till I can be with her.

:)

:) Today I went to church! Which was amazing, and then I went to my brother's girlfriend's bithday party in which me and a friend put together a song for her. I must admit while I was singing the song my thoughts drifted to a differant girl, and honestly I would much rather have sung about her. News update on her is today she took my breath away, and I am just as much taken by her as I have been. I doubt I'll ever have my breath given back to me while I know this girl. She has such smooth movement with words and actions. It looks to me as if she can never do anything wrong and I find that very wonderful. :) I have not grinned as I have in the pst 24 hours as I have in my life time... and I LOVE it. :)